Stop Shoulding on Yourself

by Laura Cain

shoulding on yourself


One of the ways we can really cause ourselves problems and unhappiness, is by focusing too much on the things we think we “should” do.  Also known as “shoulding” on yourself.

It’s time to shop “shoulding” on yourself.

When we find ourselves doing this,  it’s often based more on what others think we should do. And our concerns about what people might think or what their expectations might be if we do or don’t do this or that.

But unless it’s something that’s truly wrong (illegal, immoral, etc.) or that’s going to actually hurt you or someone else, there’s not much on that “should” list that is something we have to do. It’s opinions. Or wants.

Really, even times when we might feel we should do something for someone because let’s say it’s a nice thing to do, the real reason to do it is because we want to in some way.  Eeven if it’s something we kinda don’t want to do, the want part is bigger, so really we do!

Following a path in your life based on what you “should” do vs. what you want to do, is just going to make you unhappy most of the time.

And to what end?

If it’s because we are concerned about what people think, they usually either aren’t going to really care as much as we think they will (if at all, or they’ll get over it). Or they even don’t really matter that much anyway.  If it’s not family or close friends, does it really matter what random people think about what you do? Look at it in the reverse. How important is it to you what others “should” do if it’s not what they want to do?

So let go of the shoulds, be and do what you really want, no guilt. Or as the saying goes, “Stop shoulding all over yourself.”

What’s a way you’ve been “shoulding” on yourself that you need to stop?

You may also like

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More